He left. Well again. Am I sad? This time not really, I’m relieved. I can’t explain it but I feel somehow stronger knowing there’s 1000’s of miles between us.
But if only it was so easy. My son is asking where his Dad has gone. I didn’t lie, I told him Russia. I took out the World Atlas and showed him where Moscow was on the map. He asked if he was coming back to Scotland? Again I didn’t lie, I told him I don’t know.
Also, there’s the small fact that A. has managed to convince the Child Support Agency that he has no job in Russia. This despite the fact he’s there on a business visa (or a work visa) both are only awarded if you have an employer sponsoring you.
So he’s lying. Well no surprise there. I can’t recall the last time the man hasn’t lied. Somedays I think our whole marriage was a sham. But seems to me lying to get out of paying financial support toward your only child is pretty low. Even for a serial deceiver. But he’s in Russia, British law is limited there. They don’t exactly employ MI6 to track down dead beat dads. Too bad, I think it would actually be a worthwhile pursuit. Think of all the money the state could save by not having abandoned families left with no other choice but to access benefits.
What do I do? Well I spend 24 hours feeling really sorry for myself (yes, there may have been wine consumed) then I get out of bed this morning (and after getting the son off to school), I start looking at my options. I make lists (I love lists), I start navigating the internet. There must be something I can do, so I’m no longer dependent on this man who doesn’t want to help support his child. A man so keen to avoid this responsibility he moves far away, to a dodgy country, where British law has no jurisdiction. I guess if you were writing a book on How To Be a Successful Dead Beat Dad, it might warrant a chapter.
But after perusing job sites. I still can’t find that job which will hire me 9:30am-2:30pm, Monday-Friday. Giving me off time for all school holidays and also any time my child may be ill. If anyone out there can find this job, please let me know. I’m very keen.
So I start writing again. It helps me clear my head. Makes me feel productive and it puts my problems into perspective.
Let’s see this year. Husband/Father leaves (check). Son becomes really upset and has problems in school (check). Diagnosed with stage 2 Melanoma (check). Have severe financial troubles (check). Spend weeks trying to navigate the UK benefits system (check). Move flat alone (check). Surgery on Melanoma (check). Damn, no wonder I can’t wait to see the back of 2014. To say this has been the most challenging year of my life would be an understatement.
But I’ve survived. I even got the all clear on my Melanoma. I still have to be checked every 3 months. But thank god I don’t have terminal cancer. I mean, Jesus, what would happen to my son then?
So yesterday was another setback. And some days it feels like I still have a mountain to climb. But I wake up everyday, get my son ready for school and realise in so many ways I’m lucky. I have a child who loves me unconditionally. I now have my health back. I live in a fantastic city, and I have family and friends who love and support me 100%.
Look out Mount Everest, I’m coming for you!